Depressed and Unemployed

I thought today would just be an update of my mental state and to be totally honest, it’s not great for me at the moment.

I didn’t have counseling last week, because I was at a family wedding, but really it was the week I needed it the most. I’m dreading and going tomorrow to tell my therapist that I quit my job and my life is a mess. I’m trying to stay positive by organising fun things with my friends, but without the security of a job, I can’t fully enjoy myself without worrying about the financial side of things anymore.

I signed up to a temp agency to try and get some work, but I haven’t heard anything since so that’s feeding into my anxiety that I’m not going to have a job. I am selling a lot of my things on eBay to make up the spare money until I actually get the job or at least to pay for my Disneyland Paris tickets for December.

I’ve been on antibiotics all week for my sinusitis and feeling pretty sorry for myself. I had no energy for most of the week and struggling to even get out of bed. I have been pushing myself forward and forced the motivation to write posts for Blogtober. I even went for a run on Tuesday which nearly killed me after not running for 5 months! I’ve been for a walk a couple of times this week and tried to calm myself, but now I feel like all I need is to start planning to stop feeling like my life is in limbo.

Positive things I will do/ I want to do next week

  1. Have a good night for my friends 31st Birthday tomorrow
  2. Go for another run
  3. Sell my first batch of items selling on Ebay
  4. Sign up to pole fitness lessons using that money
  5. Be more proactive in getting work

After letting loose at the weekend, I am determined to make the week productive. I am going to be more positive, motivated and focused than I have been this week. I feel like I need a massive kick up the ass to make me do something, but I’m just going to have to do it myself. Also I should probably go to university and start my dissertation. But maybe that’s pushing productivity too far.

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