being a mess around the world
A lot has happened in the last 6 months. I’m trying so hard not to dwell on the past in a negative way because what happened has happened and I’m just trying to move forward. The only way I want to look at the past right now is to see how I’ve grown and improved and that’s why I’ve written this post.
I’m sorry to deceive you but this post probably isn’t going to help you get over a breakup. Just like the hundreds of posts I’ve read this week haven’t necessarily helped me. It’s a learning process. I feel like I’m 100 years ahead of the girl in this photo, crying with my friends at a Trdelnik shop and then posing for this photo to send to my friends at home to say “I’m okay I have cake now”. So yeah, step 1 is just eating cake and crying.
I wish I had been blogging back in January when I was thinking of my new year resolutions, but unfortunately, I was busy being trapped in an unhappy relationship and I wasn’t putting myself first as much as I should have been. So, looking back at the last year, I’ve been trying to put all the big life changes into perspective and think about all that I have achieved.
It’s been a while since I last posted on my blog and in the name of Blogtober, I am back. Today I’m just going to explain some things that have been going on in my life and have a bit of a mental health chat.
I have suffered from mental health issues for years and it is something that has affected all areas of my life including work, friends, family, and travel. I love traveling and I would say that it helps my state of mind more than it hinders it, but there are days where you feel depressed and there isn’t anything you can do to “snap out of it” even if you’re in the most beautiful places in the world.
This time of the year is unfortunately associated with some bad memories for me and I think about the past a lot, wondering what I would change if I was able to. So I’ve decided to give some advice to my 16-year-old self. Besides not bothering with the haircut.
I am currently signed off sick for my mental health, which was the first step I made towards my self-care. I had stubbornly refused to accept that I wasn’t coping at work and pushed myself to the limit until I wasn’t able to go anymore. It has been a tough journey for me this year, but here are some of the things I’ve learned and the methods I use to try to help myself get better.
Today, I went on a spending spree in Westfield shopping centre in London and I had a lot of fun browsing clothes and trying on different outfits. I wear a size 16 in most UK clothing stores, but sometimes I need a size 14 or a size 18 depending on the store or the item of clothing. I find shopping very difficult at times and it can have a massive effect on my self confidence when I don’t fit into a particular size. It’s for this reason that going to a fitting room can fill me with dread.
Continue reading “Disappointments and successes of shopping as a plus size woman”
Yoga is a massive part of self care for me, as well as fitness. I’ve lost a stone so far in my fitness journey and I’ve been doing a lot of exercise recently to help lift my mood during my depressive episode. Today, I filmed myself doing a yoga flow routine so that I could review the video and check my form.